last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I didn't notice because vodka
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
