I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
