if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
