Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
