i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I could fuck to npr.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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