Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
