I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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