Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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