96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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