I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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