you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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