just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
