fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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