Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
