would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
