i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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