I'm lost and stupid without you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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