I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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