True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
