youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
