Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
