we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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