ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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