Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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