Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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