Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
