Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
