I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
