I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm both gender and math confused
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
