They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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