woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
