hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
two words: eviction party
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize