I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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