my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Randomize
