Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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