Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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