he was CRYING into my vagina
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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