Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
