You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
