i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
