I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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