i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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