Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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