Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
