we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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