Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize