How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
