in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
