I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
