Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
